Are Your Members Ghosting You? 👻Discover How to Keep Them Engaged and Happy!
Many years ago, I used to attend one of the local mega churches with my family (I don’t anymore, but that’s a story for another time). I was deeply involved in the women’s ministry and was attending one of the church’s conferences. I was sitting with my family, feeling content and connected, when one of my closest friends joined us. She slid into the seat beside me, and for a while, everything felt right. We laughed, chatted, and caught up, and I remember thinking how nice it was to share that moment together.
Then, a group of women we both knew approached. We exchanged polite hellos, the kind of surface-level pleasantries you share with acquaintances. And then, without warning or even a word to me, my friend stood up, stepped over the row chairs, and went to sit with them. Just like that, she was gone.
I sat there, frozen, the sound of the conference around me fading into the background. My chest tightened as I tried to make sense of it. Why would she leave? Was I not enough? I felt the kind of ache that only comes from being suddenly and unexpectedly left behind. It felt personal, like a quiet confirmation of all the fears you try to push aside.
In many ways, that feeling mirrors what it’s like when a member quits your membership. One day, they’re active—engaging in discussions, attending events, and consuming content. The next, they’re gone, leaving behind only silence and a canceled subscription. It’s easy to take it personally, to wonder what went wrong or if you could have done more to keep them. But understanding why members leave is the first step to building a membership experience that keeps them engaged and committed.
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Understanding Member Ghosting: What Gives? 🤔
First things first, let's tackle the big question: why do members decide to leave? 🤔 It's a bit like trying to figure out why your cat is suddenly sprint around the house at 3 AM—it's complex and sometimes baffling. But here are some common reasons for ghosting 👻:
Lack of Value
Members might feel they’re not getting their money’s worth. If they’re paying for a service, they expect benefits that match or exceed their investment.
At the heart of every membership is a promise: to deliver something that feels worth the time and money your members are investing. When members feel like they’re not getting their money’s worth, it doesn’t take long for dissatisfaction to creep in. They start to wonder, “Why am I even here?” This often happens when the benefits they’re experiencing don’t match—or exceed—their expectations. Maybe they joined because you promised exclusive content, meaningful transformation, or hands-on support, but if those promises aren’t showing up in a way that feels tangible to them, they’re bound to feel disappointed.
Sometimes, it’s not that you’re not delivering—it’s that what you’re offering doesn’t feel as relevant anymore. Needs change, and if your content or perks don’t evolve along with your members, they’ll start to feel like the membership isn’t keeping up. On top of that, inconsistencies—like sporadic updates, rushed content, or missed deadlines—can chip away at trust and make members feel like the membership isn’t a priority for you.
Engagement Fatigue
Sometimes, life gets busy, and keeping up with memberships feels like one more thing on an already overflowing plate. This is a tough one to address. We have no control of our members lives. But what we can do is make it easier to engage in the membership. Point your members to exactly where they should be focusing. Should they only be in the Newbies discussion for the first 30 days? Then restrict them from other discussion threads or encourage them to focus their attention on that thread only. Make your content more digestible by breaking it into chunks instead of hours long workshops.
Content Issues
Members may feel the content is too basic, too advanced, or delivered in a format they don’t enjoy. Too much content can overwhelm them, while too little can make them question the value.
I will say, though, the most common content issue I hear from members of the memberships that I consult for is: “I am overwhelmed with the amount of content.” Often we think that adding more content increases the value of the membership. Not the case. And oftentimes it can turn your members away. Every piece of content you add should be added with intention. If your content doesn’t move members closer to their end goal - it shouldn’t be added.
Unmet Expectations
When the membership doesn’t match what members thought they were signing up for—whether due to unclear promises, a desire for quick fixes, or unrealistic hopes—they’re more likely to leave.
I often see this happen when there is a mismatch between your sales page and the membership offer. If you mention that you’ll be in there answering questions, you should define what that means. If you list “I’ll be in the community answering all your Q’s” as a benefit, it’s a bit open to interpretation. Does it mean you’ll be in there 24/7? Or does it mean you’ll be in there M-F from 8am - 5pm CST? Set the right expectations up front that way new members know exactly what to expect when they come into the membership.
Community Disconnect
Humans are social creatures (even introverts love a good meme!). If your community isn’t engaging, welcoming, or relevant to their needs, members may drift away in search of a better fit.
I see a lot of membership owners who want the community to become “self-led” so that they spend less time managing it. While I’m not totally opposed to this idea, I do want to set expectations that it takes time for a community to start leading itself. Building a thriving, self-led community requires an intentional foundation. Members need clear guidelines, a welcoming culture, and consistent engagement from leadership to understand what’s expected and feel comfortable participating. Without this initial structure, communities often become silent or lose focus, leaving members feeling disconnected and uninspired to engage.
Spotting the Signs Before They Disappear
Before members officially leave, they often show subtle signs of disengagement—what I like to call “ghostly footprints.” Paying attention to these indicators can help you intervene early and re-engage members before it’s too late. Here’s what to watch for:
Decreased Participation: Members who were once active in discussions or events may start to pull back. Maybe they’re skipping out on community threads they used to enjoy, or they’ve stopped attending live sessions. These behavioral shifts are often the first sign of waning interest, and they signal an opportunity to check in and reignite their enthusiasm.
Lack of Response: When emails go unopened and messages go unanswered, it’s a red flag. Members who once clicked on everything may now scroll past your updates without a second thought. While it’s easy to write this off as a busy schedule, consistent lack of engagement could mean they’re losing interest or feeling disconnected from your membership.
Opting Out of Updates: Unsubscribing from newsletters or notifications is a louder signal that something isn’t clicking. When members choose to silence updates, it’s often because they’re no longer finding value in what you’re offering—or worse, they’re feeling overwhelmed.
Tips to Keep Your Members Hooked
Now that you know the warning signs of disengagement, it’s time to shift gears and focus on solutions. Keeping your members engaged isn’t about reinventing the wheel—it’s about creating an experience that feels valuable, personal, and worth coming back for. Let’s dive into some proven strategies to keep your members excited and committed for the long haul.
1. Deliver Exceptional Value Like It’s Going Out of Style 💎
Start by asking yourself: What’s the unique value my membership offers that members can’t get anywhere else? Whether it’s exclusive resources, meaningful connections, or a clear path to transformation, make sure your members know exactly what they’re getting.
To keep members excited and engaged, showcase these perks regularly and deliver value in unexpected ways. Offer early access to content, exclusive tools, or personalized experiences to make your membership feel indispensable. And don’t underestimate the power of surprises—a bonus mini-course, unexpected discount, or special acknowledgment can go a long way in boosting loyalty and keeping members excited to stay.
2. Foster a Vibrant, Welcoming Community 🌟
Your community should feel like a space where members genuinely want to be—whether that’s to learn, share, or simply connect with like-minded people. To build a welcoming environment, take time to engage new members as soon as they join. A warm welcome message, an introduction thread, or even a “getting-to-know-you” challenge can make them feel at home immediately.
Encourage interaction with consistent prompts, like:
“Question of the Day” posts
Live Q&A sessions
Themed discussion threads (e.g., “Motivation Mondays”)
Recognize active members to build a sense of belonging—small actions, like a simple shout-out or a virtual badge, can go a long way.
3. Balance Content Just Right 📚
The quality of your content matters more than quantity. Too much content can overwhelm members, while too little can leave them questioning the membership’s value. Instead, focus on creating content that’s actionable and aligned with their goals.
Organizing your content into structured paths or journeys, such as “Beginner to Expert” tracks, gives members a clear starting point and a step-by-step guide to follow. Large pieces of content, like hour-long webinars, can be broken into smaller, more manageable modules to make learning feel less overwhelming. Regularly gathering feedback through surveys allows you to understand what types of content resonate most with your members, so you can refine and adjust your offerings to better meet their needs.
4. Personalize Experiences 🎁
Personalization is a game-changer. Members want to feel like their unique needs and preferences are being addressed. Start by collecting information about their goals or interests during onboarding. Use that data to create personalized experiences, like tailored content recommendations or goal-tracking dashboards.
For example, if a member is focused on improving a specific skill, send them resources or updates that directly align with that goal. Simple gestures, like sending a happy birthday email or celebrating membership anniversaries, can make members feel valued and appreciated.
5. Regular Check-ins ☎️
Just like checking in with an old friend (or pestering them until they reply), regular communication shows your members that you care about their experience. Automated emails are a simple but effective way to stay in touch—whether you’re asking for feedback, highlighting upcoming events, or just reminding them of the resources available to them. The key is finding the balance between staying connected and becoming overbearing. Nobody likes feeling bombarded with constant notifications, so keep your messages friendly, open-ended, and spaced out enough to avoid overwhelming your members. When done right, these check-ins can strengthen your connection with members and remind them why they joined your membership in the first place—without making them want to “screen your calls.”
6. Offer Incentives for Loyalty 🎉
People love being rewarded for sticking around. A loyalty program can be an excellent way to encourage long-term commitment. Offer discounts for annual renewals, free gifts after a certain number of months, or exclusive access to new features for long-term members.
Another effective strategy is to create a tiered membership system, where members unlock additional perks the longer they stay. For example, a six-month member might gain access to exclusive coaching sessions, while a one-year member gets a free course or product. Highlight these benefits clearly so members can see the tangible value of staying with your community.
Turning Challenges Into Opportunities
Every challenge holds an opportunity if you know where to look. Active churn might seem intimidating at first, but when you dig into the root causes and take intentional steps to address them, real progress happens. It’s not about making huge, sweeping changes—it’s about steady, strategic shifts that move the needle and build a membership experience your members want to stick with.
So go ahead—embrace these tactics wholeheartedly while continuing building meaningful relationships amongst fellow enthusiasts who share similar interests/passions alongside YOU as their trusted guide/mentor throughout this journey together forevermore... And hey—if all else fails? Well then perhaps invest heavily into creating cat videos instead—they never fail anyone ever!! 😹
